About me

Hi. My name is Smack T. Screen. You can call me whatever you like: S, Smackie, STS, Arseface - knock yourself out. No really, do.

I’m a salty-mouthed beeyotch with an inflated sense of self-importance. This blog is about venting my own frustrations about the world in general.

Oh, who am I kidding? Really I do this so I can shout my half-baked opinions in your ears and feel bigger. Plus, it frees up space in my shrunken head.

Since you asked, there’s a special place in the heart of the bug up my arse reserved for the following issues, in no particular order:

· religion;
· gender equality;
· sexual education;
· George W. Bush’s reign of stupidity;
· racism;
· shit on TV.

If there’s anything else you want to know, such as if I am married (I'm not) or whether or not I have kids (I don't), or if I feel a strong compulsion to pee when I'm immersed in water (I really do), or if I resist that compulsion with an iron will (I don't, especially if I'm sharing the water with you), then all letters can be addressed to Santa Claus and mailed to the usual address.

If you absolutely must make an itchy groin rash out of yourself, then direct your blabberings to smackthescreen at gmail dot com, but don't expect me to thank you for it.