Public Transport is not for Testicles
Today smacking: public transport and the people who use it
Letters from the Bus, Part One
Dear man sitting behind me on the number 45 bus last Thursday evening,
It’s fucking rude to stare at people. Stop doing it, or you’ll end up having someone write a bitchy blog entry about what an inconsiderate wart-licker you are.
Regards,
The one writing in the notebook you couldn’t tear your eyes away from.
Letters from the Bus, Part Two
Dear little old man with the white hair and earpiece,
You are lovely. I had to tell you repeatedly that it wasn’t necessary to let me have your seat, even though you kept saying that you couldn’t possibly take a seat while a woman was left standing. There should be more nice people like you.
Regards,
The woman whose legs still work just fine.
Letters from the Bus, Part Three
Dear men of the world,
Your balls are not as big as you think.
It is not necessary for you to sit with your legs spread so wide I could comfortably wedge a refrigerator between your thighs. The woman sitting next to you who has to cross her legs or sit at an awkward angle to fit on the seat you’ve half-commandeered through sheer force of belief in your immense package, will thank you for it.
In fact, take a leaf from the book of the little old man above. Respect, yo.
Regards,
Women of the world.
1 comment:
Dear Blog-writer,
The reason some men need to have their legs spread wide on city buses (especially in Scotland where I current reside) is quite simply because the seats do no accommodate people taller than 5ft9". It actually has nothing to do with the size of their balls or the length of their cocks. To put it plainly, if they don't spread their legs accordingly they will most likely damage their kneecaps quite immensely every time the bus stops; and in between stops they will be extremely uncomfortable. Please keep that in mind and don't take it personally the next time you see a man spreading his legs somewhere other than in the bedroom.
Great bloggin' though sister.
Yours sincerely
The leg spreader
Post a Comment